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Hello Pastor Kate,
I believe what bothers you about this card is that it makes many assumptions. It says you are a man, are married, and have children. But I’m guessing that perhaps ten percent or more of ministers are women and are not married. There are also ministers who are in a faithful and loving relationship with others of the same sex. Something I know also to be true is that mail volume is declining and many people communicate with e-mails or with blogs or with wiki’s. There are many other ways too. Letters and cards are a very asynchronous method of communication. There is a large time lag between sending and receiving messages and responding to them. Chatting via the web or video chats are a very rich mode of communication. We can see and hear the other person, communication instantly, and see many nonverbal cues in the communication. Person to person communication is also very rich, but talking is much slower than writing and reading. It leaves no trace of itself or accurate record. This card is really not intended to be a rich vehicle of communication. It is a formality – perhaps a habit. It may be very well intended, but it does not invite a richly laden message in return. It does not lead to what you would call living in the question.
I’m a United Church of Christ Member, but grew up as a Lutheran and was married in a Lutheran Church. My father and mother and our family always lived by ministers, next door to the parsonage. We got to know the ministers well. In my own way, I am ministering to the needs of many people who are seriously ill through my carepage. I provide support and advice and comfort as well as words of support to many dozens of people. They do the same for me.
My life came to a sudden halt about five years ago with chronic pain, neuropathy, lymphedema, and severe asthma which require more than twenty prescription medicines to keep me going. One of them, Xolair, costs more than $35,000 per year. It is a lifesave. With my disabilities I struggle with many misapprehensions of my capabilities every day.
My mind is very clear, but my body is extremely weak. In knowing myself and my limits and learning to pace myself I’m living in a deep mystery and face living in the question all day. Through Carepages.com I’ve been fortunate enough to make perhaps half a dozen very good friends. We are a fellowship of support and comfort and love which is hard to find these days. I hope you won’t mind a friend who is interested in the topic of living deeply and well in difficult circumstances.
If you want to and have time, go to carepages.com (provided by several hundred major hospitals) as a vehicle of communication and support. There is a free registration procedure. When you log in, the system may ask you for your an e-mail address rather first and then your password. Instead, I’ve found that it works to just put in my user name and password. Then visit my blog on carepages. It is named FrankLivingFully . It is not sensitive to case here. Hope to hear back from you. I’ve signed up as a friend for Mike Croghan (sp) on Facebook and am interested in trying to revitalize our Church. My wife and I have also made a blog on youtube.com It has a lot of our cat (Charley) and our life. It is at: http://www.youtube.com/user/fechmb0749